Regret, The Monster Inside

         In life, we usually end up having a few regrets, some greater than others. My biggest regret is probably a regret over someone I never got to know. He was the little brother of a couple friends of mine, and he was what I call a beautiful soul. When he smiled, he could light up any room, he was full of kindness and forgiveness. At only 13, he lived his faith every single day. He loved to have fun with his friends, and his joy came from the Lord and not circumstances. A beautiful soul. Late December 2013 he died. It was an accident, he was playing on a rope swing and somehow it got tangled around his throat. By the time his family found him, it was too late. His family and friends were devastated, but they pulled through. Still, I felt guilty every time I comforted someone. Did I really have the right to comfort them when I hadn't even taken the time to know this wonderful kid? Every year late December the regret comes back, and it's a monster. I tears at me and tells me that I'm a horrible person. That I'm selfish and useless, because of one small thing. Regret is not to be taken lightly. If you let it, it will crush your spirit and steal your confidence. A quote from Lion King comes to mind "You can either run from your past, or learn from it." ~Rafiki. Ah, that wise, crazy old baboon. That quote is one of my very favorites, because it can be applied to so much. In the Lion King, after Mufasa dies, Scar tells Simba that it's Simba's fault Mufasa is dead. From then on, fear and regret take over, and Simba runs. He avoids his past, because if he thinks about it, the regret comes back, and all the feelings of uselessness. You can't wallow in regret, it will destroy you. You can't run from your past, it will always catch up with you. But you can learn from every thing that has ever happened in your past. You can't change the past, so letting it determine who you are is a dangerous path of constantly losing your self-worth and climbing down into deeper gutters, because you believe that's what you deserve. Don't. Every mistake, and every shot not taken. Every regret that stains your past is the very thing that enables you to become a better you. Everything you've done wrong is a lesson, so learn it, and let it help you make better decisions in the future. There's a reason I'm posting this today. Starting midnight, it will be a new year. 2016. 2016 is not a new beginning, it not a fresh start, is not a new chapter unless you MAKE it one. So please, let go of your regrets, take up your lessons, and make this a new and beautiful year, because you CAN!!! And remember that in this new year, you can and should make plans, and have hope, but you are not your own master, and greater things are at work. "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." ~Proverbs 19:21

                                         ~Katie Stone~